“I’ve spent the last couple of days thinking about a new department at Christianity Inc. called the Painless Division. When we opened it, we believed productivity would go up. It didn’t. Nothing created on an assembly line…”
“If I hear the words “three pump” followed by anything, I roll my eyes. And if I hear the words, “three pump this, two pump that, TALL frappusugar-o, with whip, butter, and gravy” I condescend….oh how…”
“I watched the movie Religulous last night, and I suppose a good spiritual person like myself, who spends his life trying to get others to see God’s love as a reality, should be put off by such a movie. In it Bill Maher does what he can…”
“This morning, Adam Levine sent me a text…”
“In a couple of weeks I have a meeting with an individual regarding the possibility of said individual representing me as a writer. I’m stoked. I waffle from feelings of excitement and daydreams of getting a smoking jacket to write …”
“…soon your beautiful story will sneak out to the end of your tongue and get a healthy dose of sunlight. Then it will stretch its legs, throw its arms wide open and swan dive into someone else’s…”
“When I was in fourth grade, I thought IF I get a pair of Levis, then the girls won’t be able to resist me. And I got them. Opened them on Christmas Eve. I sat next to…”
Last summer I decided it was it was time for my girls to see a good old fashioned scary movie. I saw my first scary movie when I was 10, the original Friday the 13th, where Kevin Bacon gets murdered in his bed while smoking his clichéd last cigarette, by having an arrow shoved up through his throat right after he notices a drop of blood on his forehead from the dead person in the bunk above him. Ah yes, I remember it well.
She was a real nice lady but I was intrigued by that beard of hers. My mom had always been a traditionally beautiful woman, so I was drawn to this new breed of femininity that I’d not seen before. I found myself going up to her desk whenever she was subbing, to ask questions about whatever I could think up because I wanted to see her shorn beard.
Every day of high school I would wake up and wonder if this might be the day the football players would finally recognize that the choir, the band, and the drama kids were worthy of being put on their shoulders and carried around – that the cheerleaders would…
“Love crawls. It finds out where you are hiding and it comes looking for you. And when it finds you out of reach from anything sane, from anywhere anyone rational would go, it squeezes into the tight spots, and crawls out on the limb that you’ve hidden on. It will cost love something to get to you…”
Khalil Gibran said, “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with […]
I’m glad you are here. I hope you love it here. And if you do love it, I […]
I know there are displays of God’s power, where he steps in and works his magic and water […]
Here’s to you, Chemo Appt – do your thing!. If you could sing, I imagine you’d steal Flo’s […]